I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
