hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
