in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
