I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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