So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
