Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
