the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
