he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
how drunk are you?
Several
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
