I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
