just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
