Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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