The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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