I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
