I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
