roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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