Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
