maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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