It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
