well I can't set my house on fire every night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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