It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
honey bunches of taint.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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