I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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