I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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