what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize