Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Small penises have feelings too.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
