guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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