I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
look no pants
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize