I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
