Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
