hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
