I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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