I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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