We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I've blown a few things in my day
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
