stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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