hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
