i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
