i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
