We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
