Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
