I think i peed on brittanys purse
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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