Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
