If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize