just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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