Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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