its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
