so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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