My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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