so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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