Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
