Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Come see our sink grown plant.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
