I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
