i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
