I think i peed on brittanys purse
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
