I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
