She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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