do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
MIDGETS
????
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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