I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
