Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
