Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
