as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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