Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Are we still banned from the library?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
