Screwed.edu
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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