the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
