butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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