i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize