Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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