oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
