Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
