Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
