I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
