We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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