Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
